Friday, November 23, 2012

November 21st, Wednesday

Today we spent the day at the Home for Sick and Dying children. I had said in every team meeting this was the day I feared most. I am a crier anyway and I didn't think I would make it through the day. The team seemed mellow...maybe still digesting all we had seen the day before. When we got to the home, there was a line of women standing outside waiting with their children to get in and see the nurses. I can't even begin to comprehend the love these mothers have for their children...to trust and be able to love their kids so much, they are willing to leave them at a home to get the care they need.

The home had a recent cholera outbreak, so we had to dip our feet/shoes into bleach to make sure we didn't bring any more germs into the home. We were brought to a room with about 30-50 babies and toddlers to help with holding the babies, feed the kids and change any diapers. Even with all my fears, nothing could have prepared me for the wave of emotions I felt upon entering the room. The kids were so beautiful, but yet so sick. Some were hooked up with IV's, some just laying in cribs barely hanging on, and some recovering and ready to play. Most of us started picking up babies or bringing kids out to the playground.

I found my way to a baby named Toby who had just been dropped off the day before. Like many of the babies and children here, he was very small for being 2. It took a long time for him to settle down and stop crying. I can't imagine what was going through his mind.

Even among all the sickness and tears, there was hope. The hope that the mothers had when they left their children, the hope of the children, and the hope we had knowing there was a place that could give sick babies and children better care to heal their pain.

The parents are allowed to visit their children, so it was beautiful to see so many mothers and fathers coming to see how their kids were healing.

In the afternoon, we were able to come back (after nap time) and hang out with the kids more. I quickly gravitated back to Toby, who by this point, I had formed a bond with and he with me. In the morning, he had only snuggled up on my shoulder, but in the afternoon, he let me walk him around the playground and go on the swing with him.

One of the brightest memories of the day was seeing all of the members of the team running around the playground with so many beautiful children at their heels.

A favorite kid we nicknamed the Hulk. He came out with such a fire...so strong and running around laughing, yelling and jumping on everyone. In the afternoon, he had mellowed so much so that some of the team members didn't recognize him. But he quickly got back to his old self and entertained us for hours.

The hardest part of the day was leaving the second time. Toby could feel it when I started walking him back inside towards his crib. He started crying and holding on to me so tight I had to have one of the nurses come over and pull him off of me. I lost it at that point. I was his point of safety that day and it took all I had to walk out the door.

Processing the day was really tough. God felt so real and present in that place. The nuns who worked there were so tireless, loving all those kids and taking care of the needs of so many. But yet, to try and understand why children, who are so innocent, have to go through so much pain, is hard to comprehend.

My word of the day ended up being shell-shocked. I just have no other way to describe all the emotions I felt being at the home.

But the overwhelming feeling of the group was love. Love for the kids, love for God and love for Haiti.

-Kristina Klockars

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